Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and she was petting her beer can
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
