dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just puked most of my soul out..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
