It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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