everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
