What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The power of my boobs compel you
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
