I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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