i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
