Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I will pee on everything he values.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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