She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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