no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
