Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
