But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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