I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
