stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
