Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
