whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
