he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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