I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There are leaves in my underwear?
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