saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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