How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
