So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
