So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
