Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
