meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Congratulations! We have a period
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize