I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
