Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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