wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize