I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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