Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Found the puke drawer
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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