it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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