I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
