Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
