I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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