Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
