Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
