how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize