I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
