we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
