I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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