your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
