Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
