Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
