the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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