I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
