Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
