but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
