Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
