theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
