i need an iv and a liver transplant
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
