This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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