The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
