Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
