Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize