Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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