yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was like eating out sand paper
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
