the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I AM VODKA MAN
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
