My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize